Glenlivet Cipher

The Glenlivet Cipher is a great example of a whisky whose marketing overwhelms the actual liquid itself. The packaging is a black box (with some hard to see black-on-black lettering, kind of like a word search puzzle), within which is an opaque black bottle (with some similar lettering). If you look hard enough for them, you'll find typical tasting keywords hidden among the letters.

If you go on the website, there is a test where you can choose from a series of keywords (tied toward the nose and palate) to see if you match the "actual" tasting notes for the whisky. Within this are some videos of Master Distiller Alan Winchester describing how you should be nosing and tasting this NAS malt. Before we reveal my score, let's see what I thought...

The colour is golden honey. More honey on the nose, as well as vanilla, milk chocolate, pear and the vaguest hints of ginger, wood smoke and spice. Very delicate. With some time, it becomes more herbal. A drop of water brings out underripe banana. A bit too closed, but quite nice.

On the palate there is a big hit of spice (cumin, pepper) with light caramel, vanilla, oak, ripened banana and citrus. It has a nice kick to it after what I felt was a too delicate nose. Mouth-watering. Biscuity. More citrus and spice reveals itself with water, with honey taking a backseat. Scrumptious.

The finish is toasted oak, mint and earthy spices. This is quite a nice Glenlivet, sticking fairly close to the house style while providing a bit more of a spicy, earthy kick. Jim Murray scored this a whopping 96.5, awarding it Best NAS Single Malt Scotch (Multiple Casks). I wouldn't go that far, but it is a lovely and exciting dram that develops the longer you leave it in the glass (FYI my bottle has been open since December, and is almost empty). So how did I score on the website? 37%. "A solid start but you'll need a little more practice if you're going to decode The Glenlivet Cipher." Now, I don't give a crap if my notes are the same as Winchester's, but this annoying, gimmicky marketing spin implies that if you don't get the same notes as you are "supposed" to, you're not good enough. That is arrogant and insulting to any whisky drinker, novice or aficionado. There are no "wrong" notes. We all taste things a little differently, as our senses are often obfuscated by what we ate earlier, what is in our surroundings, biases toward a particular brand, or something we may have a craving for at the time. Their attitude that one's notes are wrong if they are different from the distiller's is completely antithetical to my more inclusive philosophy behind whisky. It's a good whisky, but shame on you, Glenlivet.

I laugh at whiskies like these.

I laugh at marketing tactics like these.

All well and good for the casual drinker hurrying through Travel Retail looking to bring home a story. But grumpy bloggers like me, who have a point to prove, can only roll their eyes as far back into their sockets as they'll go and emit distasteful snorts.

First up, let me tell you how I feel about Glenlivet.

They are the reason I drink whisky today. If I hadn't accidentally picked up a bottle of the 15 year old French Oak Reserve I might still be stocking my bar with two litre bottles of Grey Goose. That whisky taught me about flavours, balance and above all a delicious subtlety that I could never have related to a spirit like whisky. It's not the best whisky in the world, far from it, but I have a special soft spot for it.

I then fell in love with the 16 year old Nadurra Cask Strength. The old school release. I challenge anyone to defy this perfectly matured and wonderfully crisp expression that has my heart racing every time I take a sip. It is the reason why I'm such a sucker for high strength whiskies today. Once again the flavours and balance are spot on.

While the majority of their whiskies may be borderline boring (read ) I give them their due for championing their easy-going brand of liquid among the masses. Alongside Glenfiddich they deserve a ton of credit for putting dependable single malt whiskies in the hands of the new generation.

Which brings me to the second time they've pulled this little trick. The first one was called the Alpha. A whisky with absolutely no information. In an era where consumers are increasingly asking for more information Glenlivet decided it would be a fun idea to do exactly the opposite. No age, no cask, no notes; absolutely nothing. Drink it and figure it out.

Sure, why not. I'll come along. You have me intrigued. The fact that the spirit was barely average didn't help but, hey, these things happen. I played along as did everyone else. Now if you could please go back and make some tasty whiskies that would be great.

Well, they didn't. They started making some really bad whiskies. Discontinued the 12 year old and replaced it with the Founders Reserve; absolute piss. Bastardised my favourite Nadurra by taking away the age and corrupting it with over-oaked Oloroso. Generally taking everything they stood for and began running it into the ground.

And on top of that decided to re-hash the experiment that never worked in the first place and released yet another mystery malt. Come on! No one cares! Just because this time around it comes with a website where I have to guess the flavours doesn't make this a good whisky. Because it's not.

Had at a party, where my gracious host unveiled it for all of us to try it was greeted with clucks of disapprovals and shaking of heads. And that's what my biggest peeve is. Customers who spend good money to buy marketing spiel in the hope of creating a positive experience by sharing it among friends. And imagine when it has the absolute opposite effect.

Sad.

My sample is from a brand new bottle and served at 48%

Don't have to tell me it's sherry. Lots of it. Immediate on the nose. You know it's Glenlivet thanks to the vanilla. The strong green apple. Red berries. Now more chocolate. Dark. The oak is quite distinct here. Doesn't bode well for the palate, methinks.

Just as I suspected. That oak has taken over everything. Very drying. Pencil shavings. Some ginger spice. Vanilla. Quite tannic. Dark chocolate. Dark honey. Those red apples again. But the oak's made everything too bitter for me to like it.

Medium. Very dry. Very oaky.

I think I've said what I had to say. Cool bottle, though.