Johnnie Walker Blue Label
Lots of tones here
0 1032
TReview by @Tinia
- Nose3
- Taste3
- Finish1
- Balance25
- Overall32
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- Brand: Johnnie Walker
- Type: Scotch
- ABV: 61%
First impressions of the box holding the bottle was very high quality with crisp edges, a quick check with the protractor however showed that the box was slightly out of kilter with a 90.03 degree angle on the front left corner, lurching all the way to a 90.09 angle on the back left corner. Poor.
I opened the box and removed the bottle. It appeared to be made of glass, with labels affixed front and back, and some kind of a lid. On closer inspection the glue appeared to be of good quality, however a quick sniff confirmed by fears - there was no mistaking the woody undertones with an overlying aroma of the essence of decaying cockroaches - [EDITED BY MODERATOR] epoxy resin.
At first glance the liquid inside appears to be a clear amber - this doesn't mean much to me - the water in my toilet bowl right now is a similar colour, and you wouldn't catch me drinking that! (well, not again anyway).
As I poured the whiskey into the snifter I noticed that the whiskey poured with an apparent viscosity about .14 times that of water, WTF??
The first taste was without added water.
As it first hit my tongue I perceived round and nutty taste, with elements of squareness.
As I swirled it round my mouth half a dozen times and gargled it for a few seconds I detected the distinct undertones of burnt hair from the anus of a grizzly bear, whale semen, and the distinctive stench of Bigfoots scrotum having been stuck to his leg for 2 days while engaging in intense physical activity.
As I further swirled this whiskey on my pallet I detected notes of turkish coffee [EDITED BY MODERATOR] and tobacco ash mixed with flat beer.
The final swallow made me think of the taste left in your mouth when you have just vomited while drunk on tequila [EDITED BY MODERATOR]. All-in-all a shit whiskey, but improves greatly with the addition of coke and a handful of ice.
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Excellent first review! At first I thought I should go out and buy a bottle immediately, given how delicious you've made this sound. On second thought however, there was just something about the poor spelling and lack of (or incorrect use of) punctuation which left a bad taste in my mouth (pun intended). Most glaringly however was the obvious misspelling of "whisky" which leads me to believe that this fine specimen is an imitation bottling either from Ireland or the United States where whisky is spelled "whiskey". Shame. I don't think I'd be able to find this in the shops. And just when I had my Coca Cola and ice handy, too. The wonky box just seals the deal. I would not pay that much for a wonky box. You've been had, my friend, I'm sad to say.