Sneaking new whiskies past the wife

This thread from the early days of Connosr is a classic. Bump.

How do today's Connosr members sneak whisky past the wife?

Oh man.....Where do I start?

I have 1 bottle in my sock drawer...Another in my rarely used sweater drawer...A handful in the coat closet by the front door (hoping that the temp doesn't drop too much since it's right by the front door), several more stashed away in the bedroom closet underneath a few items of clothing (her clothing)...

LOL - we all seem to share the same pickle.

I've been pretty successful sneaking the new bottles into the house without getting caught. My wife is getting smarter too. She now recognizes the bottles now. In the evening she'll watch me at the bar pouring a dram and will asks "Is that a new Scotch, I've never seen that one before?". My usual response is "Oh I've had this one for a long time". She's not fooled and I'm a bad lire, when caught. I need to come up with a better line?

@sengjc

It's not about being sneaky. I could point to Connosr members who have spouses who support, even share in the enjoyment of whisky.

Have I brought home bottles when my wife was not aware? Sure, I would never miss a chance to get something (that might be gone later) because she's out of town, but for the most part she sees the bottles, or rather, knows about them. Her main beef is that she doesn't understand why I need so many bottles when most go unopened. And to some extent she may have a good point...

A couple of years ago she even bought me a children's armoir, perfect for storing 80-90 bottles. and peripherals (water bottles, sample bottles, mini-, gas, spare glasses, etc... ). She wanted to get my bottles out of the way. What she may not have noticed is that our adjoining wine cabinet has slowly been filling up with my long-term storage bottles...

Fortunately my wife has come to appreciate my whiskey habit over the last few years even going so far as to share in my excitement at finding a BTAC Stagg last year. I still have to be careful with the volume that comes through the door each fall with bourbon season in full swing but for the most part, I'm a lucky guy with an understanding wife.

@FMichael, you gotta be careful hiding bottles under HER clothing! I think one of the keys to a good stash location is that it not LOOK like you were hiding them if they're found.

"Oh yeah, baby, of course there are ten bottles in the back of that cupboard. That's where they go." Harder to pull off when they're under some yoga pants or something.

It's somewhat ironic that many of the most expensive bottles in my cabinet were gifts from my wife. It's the frequent replenishing of the basics (HP 12, Ardbeg 10, Laphroaig 10, et al) that I have to sneak in the house. Let's just say we have a happy marriage except for that one day per month when she reviews the bank statement. I take her to dinner, we make up, the cycle repeats itself...and so it goes.

This is the funniest thread I have ever read. hahaha I must say, I am lucky. My new girlfriend even asked me to teach her and open her up to this wonderful world of whisk(e)y.

But I have had some moments in the past of careful bottle exchanges... hoping nobody would notice.

@WhiskyBee

Well there you go..you just hit the nail on the head... Bank statements.

I buy all my spirits with a credit card, and I review our credit card statements. My wife has no interest... So she never comments on my purchases.

But I don't hide the bottles. They are mostly in the cabinet she bought me and in the overflow cabinet next to it, easily accessible.

So you either need my wife's attitude, or you need to take over the financial oversight....

Or come over to my place. My wife loves it when people come over to help me use up all the stuff I've accumulated.

;)

Great topic, I am blessed with an admiral/wife who is not on this site yet, and when she is at choir practice that's a great time to reload the cabinet. Her at home office is a few feet away from the cabinet so it can be tricky at times. Not that I am recommending lying per say you just have to know when it is the right time to replace bottles. I also updated my virtual cabinet so the number is currently correct. (:

No need to sneak whisky past my wife, She fully understands that I am crazy esp when I'm building new shelves in the workroom. She also encourages me to buy by making new wonderful deserts to sample with whisky. I sometimes wonder why I don't weight 300 pds + although only drinking on weekends helps. Support your wife's/girlfriends hobby and she will support you.

The key is to get well past two hundred bottles in the Strategic Whiskey Stock Pile and the High Command will no longer get involved with Supply Chain Logistics, it just gets too complicated.

@paddockjudge I can't imagine having 200 plus bottles...My wife despises the fact that I have roughly 30 some odd bottles (most sealed - several having been opened).

@FMichael

@paddockjudge's wife is a saint. I don't have nearly as many bottles as he does. my wife is supportive. She doesn't mind that the collection is big, but more that the collection is growing faster than I will ever drink it.

And to some extent she has a point. What is the point of accumulation without consumption? Unless it's for investment. A pretty expensive hobby. You can collect baseball cards a lot cheaper (but whisky tastes better than that gum...)

@Nozinan

Well, my wife is becoming to like whisky, particularly the fruity & floral Japanese ones. I think it is time I started installing some locks in the whisky cabinets - LOL.

@FMichael, two hundred plus is a thing of beauty, as is my wife, a saint as @Nozinan describes her.

For many years I kept my 'harvest' in boxes with only a handful at the ready. Today, I have a wall of whiskEy, twelve feet wide and seven feet high. One shelf of brandy and rum surrounded by twenty-one shelves of whiskies. For me, going to the store is not a function, it is an occasion. The 'wall' is my own Heineken Closet Commercial...gives a whole new meaning to 'coming out'.

@Lars commented, "Support your wife's/girlfriends hobby and she will support you". Sage advice indeed.

@FMichael, it's closer to 400+

A THING OF BEAUTY! www.youtube.com/watch

I have shipped to a friend's house several times. And once the whisky is at home, it goes in the safe. The wife does not have the combo. Problem solved. It's not rocket science, after all . . . until she asks for the combo. But I already have a game plan for that. . . . .

As Charlie The Machine says: "Winning."

Then again, I guess The MaSheen is not such a good celebrity to quote after his very deep fall from grace. As for Highland Park 18, it is not what it once was in terms of quality, at least the stuff being sold in the USA. Also a fall from grace.

I suppose I could bring it home when she's not there, but a better solution has been unfortunately provided by the LCBO.... they currently have nothing reasonably priced that I'm interested in.

@Jean-Luc. Canadian Glencairn glass, with its large capacity, is a great way to avoid the 'sneaky top-up'.

@paddockjudge

That's fine when you want to drink more volume without alerting the spouse, but how does that help with the collection?

@Nozinan, "how does that help with the collection?" - large pours trigger the replenishment function.

Thankfully, my girlfriend LOVES whisky and actually encourages me to buy more (even when I don't want to or can't afford it) - especially the smoky, peaty ones.

Oh my beloved, let me count the ways I sneak them by you... 1. I have young children. Additional bottles are added during bed time 2. I actively encourage "Girls night", so my wife can relax outside the house for several hours 3. What's that clinking sound??!!? Oh honey i'm just re-arranging the cabinet

I recall one night when we had company over (all of who love my collection). The wife was putting the kids to bed and I went out to the car and returned with no less than 4 bottles. They all looked at me with a smirk and a grin as i put a finger over my lips and headed up stairs to the new arrivals cabinet.

I gave up trying to sneak them in, my wife has eagle eyes.. I'm sure she counts the collection more than I do.. Plus most bottles have to be delivered to her as I work in a field all day long ????

Best solution yet? Get a mule. I just had someone come over after a Limited release launch and we had a dram session... Just so happened that among his things he brought in were 6 bottles of FC 3 grain Harmony and 1 bottle of Laphroaig Cairdeas....

I've caught holy hell for years and only from a girlfriend who has been living with me for nearly seven years. We are on the verge of breaking up. So I don't really care any longer if she gets angry when I buy a new bottle or two. Good thing I didn't marry her!!!! If I had, she would now be chomping at the bit for half of my house and liquidating my whisky collection. Win/win. Now to find a more agreeable woman with longer legs!

@Cunundrum unless she goes SWF when you finish the relationship and your collection ends up in the toilet.

Hmmmm . . . have been holding off on posting to this thread. It has not been so much an issue of getting bottles from point A to point B. But about a month ago the spouse asked ne that dreaded question "How many bottles do you have stocked away"? Since, I too, am a terrible liar, I opted for the mostly true response "to be honest, I do not know." Do not think that answer was acceptable as occasionally it is pointed out, in various conversations with friends, that I was less than straight forward. I decided to stay the course, and not actually the number of bottles. But I will be damned if I am pressed to name a reasonable upper/lower range. Will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Wife was out of the country...made for a great opportunity to receive several shipments. My problem now is really not so much sneaking them past her as it is finding a place to put them!